Tunggu

Tiba melewati satu struktur ciptaan manusia

Yang suda diketahui penghuninya sejenis

Maka Nampak kelibat mereka

Berlari, berterbangan membawa haluan

Kiri kanan depan atas bawah

Aku lalu

Destinasi berpuluh langkah di hadapan

Namun mata tumpuannya bumi

Aku tipu

Sekilas mata ku pandang atas

Tepi

Kiri

Aku mencari satu susuk yang aku tahu benar

Dia

Aku Nampak dia!

Eh! Bukan dia!

Itu dia!! Kiri kiri

Bukan, itu makhluk lain

Pandang hadapan, jauh

Itu mungkin dia!

Tak, dia berbeza aku tahu

Tapi, yang di sebelah mu

Yang melintasi bahu jalan

Yang berjalan laju

Ah! Kenapa semua dia?

Kenapa kau ada di mana-mana

Tapi kenapa kau tak pernah aku nampak?

Mana kau??

Mana?

Aku dongak lagi

Dongak supaya jangan dia jatuh

Jangan bergenang sekali pun

Aku kuat

Selagi ada bintang

Aku tahu dia di sisi ku

Selalu

Mana kau? Keluar

Aku tunggu..

A Good Plan

Ridzwan and I had this very weird and cheesy conversation

I told him that I wanted to continue my study.. In Australia

He said he wanted to tag along

It sounded like a good plan when he said..

"We should get married and make babies. Make 11 of them and when they turn five, we'll send them back to Malaysia to live with their Granny in Ampang."

Then I said..

"Cannot send them to Granny in Ampang because that Granny (My Mum) had already told me that when I have my own children, she wouldn't want to look after my children. Even her own children pun orang lain yang babysit."

"Don't worry then, Granny kat Kedah kan ada. Why don't we just send them there? Sana ada banyak tahfiz. You want to send your children to study at tahfiz kan? Till then, we just send money to them and continue making babies."

I was like.. LOL
It sounded like a good plan! Haha

Thanks Ridzwan
My bro, my bff
You are my lifesaver
Tahu bila masa untuk dia ceriakan aku
Lu memang best, my bro :)

At least hari tu aku ketawa terbahak-bahak. Aku duduk Australia tapi anak-anak sekolah tahfiz kat Kedah?? Tinggi angan-angan tapi tak mustahil kan :)

Writing

To actually calm myself and to actually smile when people are looking

I found them very difficult to be done

What makes me calm, what makes me smile with all my heart?

When I'm writing

I express myself better through writing

Even though I seldom write in English (I should write more English materials)

But when I write in English, I felt it easier for my emotion to flow out from my chest

But when I write in Malay

I got stuck.. Just stuck

I should decide now

What makes me comfortable?

Writing in BM or English?

Or both?

Or just stop writing???

Writing expresses me, my thoughts, my opinions, my ideas, myself, my feelings

I cannot afford to lose this ability

Feeling Emo

Hari ni, aku jadi emo
Emo kuat
Aku ingat dia
Kenangan kami
Memori dalam bentuk gambar
Hadiah yang dia bagi

Aku macam lost
Aku mengaku aku kuat
Tapi kenapa aku rasa lemah?
Aku kata aku redha
Tapi kenapa aku minta Tuhan putarkan balik masa?

Teringat dengan rindu tak sama
Yang mana agaknya yang dekat dengan aku?
Aku tak tahu dan tak nak tahu
Biar masa je yang ubat segalanya

Aku kena paksa diri
Jangan menangis untuk orang yang tak sudi
Aku yang salah
Jadi salah ni aku kena bawa sampai mati

the saddest birthday

no text messages
no calls
no presents
no cake
no celebration
no company
no wishes

just me, and my broken heart

i felt so lonely
that was the saddest birthday ever
i became emotionally disturbed
and ended up crying so hard

i hate my birthday this year
because i was alone
and lonely
no mummy and daddy
no bff
no him
no everything

T__T

i guess, nobody cares about me no more

Iron Lady

Hari aku nampak dia
Aku lari kuat-kuat
Sampai tak cukup tanah yang dipijak
Hati kata jangan tengok
Tapi mata masih mencari sang kelibat
Haish, mata dengan hati ni selalu tak geng tau

Aku senyum, gelak
Tapi dalam hati ni rasa sebak sangat

Aku tahu dia benci aku
Tapi aku tak benci dia

Aku lebih dari redha
Mungkin tuhan nak bagi aku jadi lagi kuat
Aku kan iron lady
:)

I just don't want to care

Am I changed?

I don't know

What I know is

We are no longer who we are

And for the first time

I'm not afraid

I saw that picture in your phone... If you know what I mean

:)